Daphne I want you to grow up to be a strong, determined, fierce, kind woman and my biggest fear as a mom is figuring out how to teach you all of these things. I want you to be respectful, independent and outgoing. How do I teach you all of these things when I'm not sure if I am any of them?
Ewww, I know that is something I can not do, I can not doubt myself in front of you, I can not point out my flaws and express my insecurities because I don't want you to learn any of those things. Not that I don't want you to know theses things about me or for you to think I'm perferct but I want you to not be insecure with who you are. You are beautiful and perfect now and always will be. I thought to myself this morning that I'm a sinner and I need to make some wrong things right and then I realized that you are totally pefect and innocent, you have yet to commit a sin. Do I think you will always be sin free? No, but in my eyes you will always be perfect and innocent.
I want you to be able to come to me when you have fallen or done something wrong. Wether it be you skinned your knee or told a lie or something more drastic like your heart has been broken by your first crush or you've tried alcohol, I want us to have an open relationship and for you to know there is nothing you could ever do for me to not love you.
Your 4 months old right now Daphne and there is so much fun stuff, laughter, trials and tribulations that we haven't begun to experience, but I welcome all of them with open arms. I wait for the day when you are hurt or upset and the only person in the world that can make it better is me. Not that I ever want you to be hurt or upset but being realistic I know those times will come and consoling you is something I look forward to.
You are this wonderful little person that I get to shape and mold and I hope I can raise you right!
Friday, February 18, 2011
Monday, February 14, 2011
4 months
Well today is Valentine's Day and your 4 month birth date. I can't believe that you are already 1/3 of a year old, wow has time flown by. Over the weekend you were very cranky and at the end of the day after daddy mentioned it, it finally dawned on me that you might be teething. You have been in alligator mode again and drooling alot, with little outburst of crying with real tears,something you never do.
I love that you are so at ease when I hand you over to Judy in the mornings but it makes me so sad how loving you are to her. I can't wait for you to get old enough to know that I'm your mom, well more like you get old enough so that I know that you know that I'm your mom. It makes me sad watching you with her and makes me want to cry right now thinking of it.
So Tuesday was a very hard day for me, I missed you so much. Every time I would think of you I would nearly cry. Also Tuesday was your four month check up with the doctor. You did so good with your shots, you hardly cried and were totally finished before the nurse even left the room. You weighed 11lbs 11oz and are in the 50 percentile for heigth and 25 percentile for weight and head circumference. You are going to be my tall skinny girl.
Wednesday morning you actually ate some of your cereal rather than just spitting it all out and crying. Way to go baby girl!
I think I could list a million different things that have gone wrong or made me mad this week but when I try to think positive and think about the good things my mind immediately goes to you. I think of your pretty little smile this week, the way you have clung to my shoulder and the cute goos and gaas you only do for your dad.
Week 17
You are eating your cereal a little better each morning.
You are becoming more vocal even though in only sounds like yelling, but I'll take whatever I can get.
You have tried to start sucking your thumb again, I pull it out of your mouth and tell you we don't do that and you smile like you know what you are doing.
Daddy is out of town this week working so it has just been you and I and dang Roscoe.
You still hate being on your tummy and cry every time I make you get on it.
Bath time is good now and you are ok with lotion time also.
Everything goes in your mouth and you are trying so hard to chew on your toes, you just haven't yet got them all the way to your mouth.
Today is February 24th, one year ago today is when we found out about you. Just thinking of it puts a smile on my face and makes me reflect about all the changes that have happened so quick. You have made me such a stronger person and I am so greatful for that.
So tonight you and I are going to see daddy for the weekend, ready to see him but not looking forward to the three hour car ride. I feel bad that you will be in your carseat that long but hopefully you will sleep the whole time. Saturday while visiting daddy you rolled from your belly to your back, yippee. You only did it once though.
Week 18
Well this week has been kinda hard. My beloved Roscoe bit someone yesterday and I had to have him put down. The decision is still killing me but I wanted to be sure he never bite anyone again and especially not you.
This week you have finally mastered getting your toes all the way in your mouth. I think it is so cute but it drives your dad nuts. He keeps telling you to suck on anything else but not your toes he thinks its gross.
Week 19
This whole month and a bit of month 3 you have been trying to hold your bottle. You can now do it for a few seconds at a time and if you drop it I give it back to you and you hold onto it again.
Daddy hates when you put your feet in your mouth. I think it is so cute but he gets grossed out and immediately pulls your foot from your mouth. You are finally starting to get a little bit of hair! I think it is going to be light brown. You have almost grown out of your first pair of shoes. :(
Update on Roscoe, doc saved him! He is in quarantine now and will be adopted out. I don't know if it is easier or harder knowing that he is alive but I still can't have him.
Baby girl, you are so beautiful, the whole world loves you. You have turned my 10min shopping trips into 30+ minutes b/c I have to stop and let everyone admire you, but it's ok you like the attention.
I love that you are so at ease when I hand you over to Judy in the mornings but it makes me so sad how loving you are to her. I can't wait for you to get old enough to know that I'm your mom, well more like you get old enough so that I know that you know that I'm your mom. It makes me sad watching you with her and makes me want to cry right now thinking of it.
So Tuesday was a very hard day for me, I missed you so much. Every time I would think of you I would nearly cry. Also Tuesday was your four month check up with the doctor. You did so good with your shots, you hardly cried and were totally finished before the nurse even left the room. You weighed 11lbs 11oz and are in the 50 percentile for heigth and 25 percentile for weight and head circumference. You are going to be my tall skinny girl.
Wednesday morning you actually ate some of your cereal rather than just spitting it all out and crying. Way to go baby girl!
I think I could list a million different things that have gone wrong or made me mad this week but when I try to think positive and think about the good things my mind immediately goes to you. I think of your pretty little smile this week, the way you have clung to my shoulder and the cute goos and gaas you only do for your dad.
Week 17
You are eating your cereal a little better each morning.
You are becoming more vocal even though in only sounds like yelling, but I'll take whatever I can get.
You have tried to start sucking your thumb again, I pull it out of your mouth and tell you we don't do that and you smile like you know what you are doing.
Daddy is out of town this week working so it has just been you and I and dang Roscoe.
You still hate being on your tummy and cry every time I make you get on it.
Bath time is good now and you are ok with lotion time also.
Everything goes in your mouth and you are trying so hard to chew on your toes, you just haven't yet got them all the way to your mouth.
Today is February 24th, one year ago today is when we found out about you. Just thinking of it puts a smile on my face and makes me reflect about all the changes that have happened so quick. You have made me such a stronger person and I am so greatful for that.
So tonight you and I are going to see daddy for the weekend, ready to see him but not looking forward to the three hour car ride. I feel bad that you will be in your carseat that long but hopefully you will sleep the whole time. Saturday while visiting daddy you rolled from your belly to your back, yippee. You only did it once though.
Week 18
Well this week has been kinda hard. My beloved Roscoe bit someone yesterday and I had to have him put down. The decision is still killing me but I wanted to be sure he never bite anyone again and especially not you.
This week you have finally mastered getting your toes all the way in your mouth. I think it is so cute but it drives your dad nuts. He keeps telling you to suck on anything else but not your toes he thinks its gross.
Week 19
This whole month and a bit of month 3 you have been trying to hold your bottle. You can now do it for a few seconds at a time and if you drop it I give it back to you and you hold onto it again.
Daddy hates when you put your feet in your mouth. I think it is so cute but he gets grossed out and immediately pulls your foot from your mouth. You are finally starting to get a little bit of hair! I think it is going to be light brown. You have almost grown out of your first pair of shoes. :(
Update on Roscoe, doc saved him! He is in quarantine now and will be adopted out. I don't know if it is easier or harder knowing that he is alive but I still can't have him.
Baby girl, you are so beautiful, the whole world loves you. You have turned my 10min shopping trips into 30+ minutes b/c I have to stop and let everyone admire you, but it's ok you like the attention.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Week 15
Your definitely my opinionated stubborn beautiful little girl. You are really starting to come into your own personality and it is a wonderful thing to watch. You are like me you want things your way and you know how to get them, I know you will grow up to be a very strong woman.
I found you crying on your belly Thursday morning, so I know you still know how to roll over, it's just you being stubborn and not wanting to do it.
I found you crying on your belly Thursday morning, so I know you still know how to roll over, it's just you being stubborn and not wanting to do it.
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