Single Life

5/9/12 I'm really at a turning point in my life. I've been single for 5 months now and in a just a few days the divorce will be final. Some days I don't know which was is up or where to turn, but all in all I think some how, I've got to be headed in the right direction. Above all I think my Daphne is happy, and truly that's all that matters to me. I really one day want to find my happiness too, but she is first. I will spend my last breath trying to make her happy, because I truly believe that is the meaning of life and our duty as parents to ensure it for our children. I remember as a pre-teen starring in the mirror thinking I was pretty. I remember later that afternoon having the guy working on the neighbors house check me out reconfirming I was pretty, but somewhere between that time and high school I lost my ability to think I was. Was it hearing my dad say that Robin would be the prettiest of his daughters, was it always being the big girl out of my friends, was it my shyness, was it not having a boyfriend? What defines beautiful? Who decides whether you are pretty or not? Why as a woman, a girl, a teenager a child is it so important? You are the only one who can make yourself believe you are beautiful. But with so many expectations and stereo types, it is easy to question your attractiveness. Why did I start with being happy and then move to being pretty? Well for me they kinda go hand in hand. Yes, that is very vain, but I can't help but think that. I'm a people pleaser